What is a 'boy mom' and why is it cringey? The social media term explained

Do you know a "boy mom?" Are you a "boy mom?" Before you answer, you might want to make sure you're caught up on the most recent internet slang.

A recent TikTok post by a momfluencer has been circulating through the platform in the past week, drawing criticism and reigniting the conversation around "boy moms."

The since-deleted video featured a content creator who often shares videos of and centered around her children discussing the difference between her feelings for her young daughter and son. In it, she says that though she is "obsessed" with and loves her daughter, her son "has her heart and soul" because her "whole life, she wanted to be a boy mom" and that her fellow "boy moms" will understand what she's saying.

Other TikTok users were quick to respond, saying the post was inappropriate and could be hurtful to her daughter if she ever stumbled across it, as it appears to make clear that one child is a favorite based upon their gender.

While it has stirred up its fair share of controversy, the video is far from the first and certainly won't be the last to draw out debates surrounding parenting, gender and so-called "boy moms."

So what is a boy mom if not simply a mother of boys? Read more about the internet colloquialism here.

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What is a 'boy mom'?

A "boy mom" is something of a negative character archetype oft-recognized on the internet. The term itself is slang to refer to a specific kind of parent who is perceived as being overly fixated on their male children, often to the detriment of other female children or people in their lives.

A mother may be called a "boy mom" if she talks about or displays signs of favoring her male children over her female children, expresses a distaste for girl children and enthusiasm for boys based solely on gender, speaks about her son in a way that viewers perceive as being almost romantic, hyper-fixates on her male child's gender and all things "boy," or if she gives special treatment to her sons through coddling and obvious favoritism.

As the internet will quickly tell you, every mom who happens to have male children is not a "boy mom." A mom of boys is a neutral identifier while a certified "Boy Mom" is a mom who displays certain kinds of behaviors or subscribes to certain ideals.

While the term has become popular across social media platforms, it is most often discussed on TikTok, where people often make skits and parodies pantomiming the stereotypical caricature of a "boy mom."

These often cover themes like moms being over-protective and coddling their sons, deciding they can do no wrong even when they're grown adults; moms who treat their sons like their romantic partners, acting as if they're in competition with daughters-in-law and future dates or referring to their sons growing up and leaving home as a "break-up"; moms sharing how they don't love their girl children as much as their boys; and moms who center their lives around being a mom to a boy, often to the point of annoying others in everyday conversation.

Often, conversations about "boy moms" center around implications of emotional incest, misogyny and misplaced emotional attachment.

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Where did the slang term 'boy mom' come from?

The term "boy mom" was originally not a negative one, Like "girl dad," it was used by parents to refer to the experience of having a child of a different gender from their own.

In the past, it was used simply by certain moms who had boy children. Often, it was used to describe experiences they felt were unique to having boys, like incidences of roughhousing, toilet issues, or shopping for toys and clothes traditionally marketed toward boys. It was also used by moms of boys simply to express their enjoyment of being a mother to male children.

Over time, however, both the terms "boy mom" and "girl dad" took on an ironic meaning. The types of content posted by self-identified "boy moms" began to share some common themes and tropes, and viral videos that were received poorly by the internet began to surface and be parodied.

As the conversation around parenting and traditional ideas of gender evolved, so did the ideas of these parents who became unduly fixated on or "obsessed" with their children's gender. Eventually, netizens came to associate a certain kind of content and certain kind of behavior with "boy moms." The term soon began synonymous with "cringy" or embarrassing behavior online.

Now, plenty of people still use the term positively, proudly referring to themselves as a "boy mom." Others have come to use the term ironically, as a joke, or even as an insult, depending on where you stumble across it.

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